The Time I Wanted To Be god

I was reminded recently about the appeal of manipulation. When I was a student at Hononegah High School, I had a fascinating teacher named Mr. Muldowney. I loved him. I loved every minute of his class. He was a brilliant man. Well read. Great teacher. But, the thing that intrigued me most, was his ability to manipulate (I am sure he would not appreciate it being called this, but I have no better word). He was like the new version of Sherlock Holmes. In any moment I imagined him dissecting the entire class with keen observation of the little details that seemingly went unnoticed (Just like in the recent movie where time would seem to stop and Holmes could analyze and decide what course of action to take). Then my teacher, Mr. Muldowney, would bring these observations to light exposing his brilliance and leaving a whole class of high school seniors scratching their heads and fawning over him.

To add to my appreciation of him, he gave us all nick names based on personality traits and experiences we had. I never saw Muldowney get stumped by a question and if a student acted up you can only imagine the embarrassment that Muldowney could command. I was always a little nervous around him. But, it was a nervousness that made me adore him more. This experience set me on a trajectory.

From that point on I decided that I wanted to study psychology. The content was interesting but what I really desired was to be like Muldowney. I wanted that sort of keen observation, his people skills, his ability to command attention and manipulate a crowd.

...I never finished my degree in psychology. In the providence of God, I was called to ministry and out of the university setting for a while. Not only that, I now see the sillyness of wanting to have those skills. Really, I wanted to be a little god. Actually a big god but I say now with ironic tones 'a little god' because I know how tiny I would truly be. Now, I am not saying that psychology is inherently evil or something weird like that. I still admire my high school psychology teacher and even the character of Sherlock Holmes. However, these skills left unattended could be damaging to the soul.

This past Friday and Saturday I attended an American Camp Association Conference and there was a presenter much like Muldowney. A presenter was able to take 400 adults and literally 'manipulate' them. It was bizarre to watch the adults basically do exactly what this presenter was commanding them to do.

So the past couple of days I have wrestled with how or if these 'tricks,' as he called them, should be used in ministry. I see value in capturing the attention of camp kids or ministry students to help them settle for an announcement or large group teaching. But, I hold in tension Paul's strategy of ministry.

"When I came to you, brothers, I did not come with eloquence or superior wisdom as I proclaimed to you the testimony about God. For I resolved to know nothing while I was with you except Jesus Christ and him crucified. I came to you in weakness and fear, and with much trembling. My message and my preaching were not with wise and persuasive words, but with a demonstration of the Spirit's power, so that your faith might not rest on men's wisdom, but on God's power" (1 Corinthians 2:1-5).

Sometimes I think tricks can get in the way. Persuasive words and little techniques are just that, persuasive words and little techniques. As great as it may seem to have a day of camp (or a Wednesday night) go well because we manipulated the group to be quiet, pay attention, and act how we instruct them to, it is still missing a big component. What we need is for life change to occur. At the end of the day, we want our kids to have been changed by an encounter of the Spirit's power. We do not simply want to modify behavior. We are trying to do something much greater. Therefore, it is critical that we enlist much prayer, and even simplify our strategy to almost nil, because then God is the one at work. Not us. Not a bunch of little gods trying to make things happen, but truly the living God at work making real life-change happen.

I resolve to know nothing while I am with you, not techniques, not tricks, not strategy. I resolve to know nothing but Jesus Christ and Him crucified, the power of God and the wisdom of God. Amen.