Getting What We Need

Sometimes a dad gives a son or daughter what they need and not what they want. And, I am convinced, this is what God always does for us. He always has a bigger goal in mind. His desire is for your holiness and for your celebration forever of His grace towards you. The way this plays out isn't always how we would expect or even immediately want. John Newton understood this mystery. Sometimes we pray that God would just magically change us or rid of us sin but instead God gives us a glimpse of how utterly sinful we actually are. It is a treacherous experience but the end result is a bigger reliance on God's grace. Read through these verses and feel the weight of how God deals with sinners like us.

John Newton:

I asked the LORD that I might grow

In faith, and love, and every grace,

Might more of his salvation know

And seek more earnestly his face.

Twas he who taught me thus to pray,

And he, I trust, has answered my prayer;

But it has been in such a way

As almost drove me to despair

I hoped that in some favoured hour

At once he'd answer my request,

And by his love's constraining power,

Subdue my sins, and give me rest

Instead of this, he made me feel

The hidden evils of my heart,

And let the angry powers of hell

Assault my soul in every part.

Yea, more, with his own hand he seemed

Intent to aggravate my woe,

Crossed all the fair designs I schemed,

Blasted my gourds, and laid me low.

"Lord, why is this?" I trembling cried,

"Wilt thou pursue me to the death?"

"'Tis in this way," the Lord replied,

"I answer prayer for grace and faith."

"These inward trials I employ

From self and pride to set thee free,

And break thy schemes of earthly joy,

That thou mayest find thy all in me."

I feel that. The harder I try the more my gourds are blasted. My pride has such a grip on all that I do. Worst of all it feeds so much on my ministry and my religion. I can accomplish on my own... I don't need God (I don't really mean that, but by my actions I live it). In His providence he lays me low. That I may be broken off from schemes of earthly joy and find my all in Him.