"You know how I lived the whole time I was with you, from the first day I came into the province of Asia. I served the Lord with great humility and with tears, although I was severely tested by the plot of the Jews. You know that I have not hesitated to preach anything that would be helpful to you but have taught publicly and from house to house. I have declared to both Jews and Greeks that they must turn to God in repentance and have faith in our Lord Jesus" (Acts 20:18-21).
First off, is my life like that of the Apostle? Can I honestly say to anyone, "you know how I lived" and have that mean, have you studied my life to see how the gospel drives every action? I can think of many deficiencies in my life that would deter me from saying that statement. There are many things that I do that has yet to be transformed by the gospel of grace. However, I want to be able to extend that invitation of inspection. Watch me. See if you can see the marks of Christ in my life. Examine my daily routine, watch how I interact with people, see if you notice the deep affects of the Gospel. I know I have far to go but I hope to say with Paul, "follow my example, as I follow the example of Christ' (1 Cor 11:1).
"I served the Lord with humility and tears" (vs. 19a). Has my ministry been marked with humility? I can answer that one honestly: Nope. Matt Chandler says, "With youth comes arrogance... most times life just needs a little time to beat it out of you." I am trying to learn this lesson. I want to be known as someone with humility. I do not want to always position myself as knowing everything and having an opinion. I look back on the last two years of ministry with regrets of things I have said and done. I hope to grow in humility and serve with tears as my heart breaks for those I serve.
"Even though I was severely tested" (vs. 19b). When things go well it is easy to serve and minister, but what happens when things go poorly? When I do not see successes and victories everywhere I look, will I have faith to stay the course even when I am severely tested? Lord have mercy on me... I hope so.
What is the course? It is a ministry of faithful Bible teaching. "I did not hesitate to preach anything that would be helpful to you" (vs. 20a). Preaching the word is the means that God has ordained for the building up of His Church. Have I put faith in His plan? Have I hesitated to do the hard work of "rightly dividing the Word of Truth" or exclaiming with passion the truths of God? There are many times when I have procrastinated and slacked. Times when what I have offered has been less than God-honoring. Many Wednesday's I have brought crippled lambs and lame sheep to God's house. I have robbed the students of hearing preached things that would be helpful for them. This needs to change.
"and taught publicly from house to house" (vs. 20b). Paul had a helpful habit of proclaiming the word of God in all settings. He taught the scriptures every chance he had. When he opened his mouth, the scriptures would be on his tongue... Have I done this? Have I taught the scriptures in every setting and in all circumstances? This is an area where I could and will grow by the grace of God.
We now have a life worthy of examining, a ministry conducted in humility and tears, a willingness to suffer for the cause and stay the course, a plan of faithful preaching, and a message that extends beyond the walls of the church, but what is the crux of the message? "turn to God in repentance and have faith in our Lord Jesus" (vs. 21). That is the essential message... are we turning people to God by repentance and faith in Christ? What an amazing calling!
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